Stay Strong

    Minutes are prolonged and hours seem like years.  The slow ticking of the clock rings in my ears, drowning out all other noises.  The seconds wear away my composure, pounding in my head like a jackhammer as my throat burns from choked back sobs.  My eyes swell like a dam ready to burst at any time.  I know I look like a wreck but for once I don’t care.
    The all-too-sterile smell of bleach attacks my nose as I walk down the bright, seemingly colorless hallway.  Clenched fists begin to shake as my anxiety rises, consuming me as it did the night before.  It’s ruthless, not holding back.  Gotta stay strong, just a few more steps.  What will he look like?  Is he alright? God help me, I can’t take another step.  Please give me strength, I need to see him.
    I walk in the door and the dams crumble.  The tears that rimmed my eyes are now rivers, flowing freely down pale cheeks as a sob escapes my lips.  My eyes dart to the bed as I run over and I’m enveloped in a hug.  I heard the anxiety and fear in his voice last night as I cried in my best friend’s arms and now I see he is as scared as I am.  We’re both crying, I more than him as he insists “I’m alright; everything is going to be fine.”  More incomprehensive words are exchanged.
    My mother hugs me, repeating my father’s words, yet I can’t hold back the tears.  Stress, fear, anxiety, apprehension, and lack of sleep collapse on top of me and I can’t take it anymore.  I want to curl up in a ball and shut out the world, but I can’t.
    Calm down.  Deep breaths.  Stay strong.